I was totally the Grinch on Christmas. Yep, I was in a mood. My students never believe me that I could ever have a bad day but yes I too have some sour days and I am stating it for all to see. The spirit of the holidays is beautiful because it brings family and friends together; there is love, joy, light, and beauty. But on the other side there is also chaos, emotions that run high, loss, stress, and Grinch like behavior (from yours truly).
This year has been an incredible one. I definitely have worked really hard to set up 2015 and I have the best team along for the ride with me. For that I could not be more thankful. I have a mother that wants all of her kids to be happy and does whatever she can to make sure we are all okay. I have a lot of love in my life from dear ones and again for that I am over the moon. But since Thanksgiving I have been in a mood. I have been allowing the stress in my life to consume me whether it’s stress with work, or stress with relationships, or whatever silly nonsense I am consumed with it has been making me emotional, and instead of finding the light in these things like I normally do, I have been dwelling in the frustrations.
I lost it yesterday, tears, blah, blah, blah, ya know just one of those, “I can’t hold it together moments.” It totally happened. I am sitting here laughing because well it’s all kinds of ridiculous. Doesn’t this happen to everybody? Can’t we have permission to just lose it? I gave myself permission. I had not been to my mom’s home in Fullerton for the holidays in probably over 8 years because I was normally out of state or at their home in Laguna and it was weird and hard to be back during this time. It brought back a lot of memories that are hard to swallow (If you're curious click --> http://bennerfit.com/my-story/). Being vulnerable can be looked upon as weak and I look at it as strength because you are sharing your deepest emotions and self with the ones you can be that way around. You should always be able show and share every side of you, as long as you aren’t hurting anyone.
Today I woke up feeling amazing. Sometimes you have to literally LET GO to see a different side. I am in the business of helping people let go, to be their truest self, to feel better, and I believe that it brings you to your best self whole-heartedly. I have to be able to do the same. And so I did and I thank my mama for the ears on the end of the table.
This weekend I need some me time, I am getting out and trying new classes, making new healthy dishes to share right here on the blog, spending time with the people I love most and giving myself new perspective.
I'm giving you all permission to LET GO when you need to. Sending you holiday kisses!
Thanks for letting me share. You are all so special to me.
Much Love and Light,